I feel like a loser, BUT God...

 Today was one of those days where I felt defeated. Have you ever felt like that? I know if you're like me...human, then you have too. We all have been there a time or two or several..haha 

One of my biggest struggles is finishing something I've started. I always start something, but I never finish it out or complete it. I know that it has to do with a deep rooted issue I have that stemmed from my childhood and I'm pretty for sure I know exactly what that is. I will get into that another time, but I will say it also has to do with low self esteem. We all struggle with insecurities, some worse than others. And it's just plain hard. We have to get to the point in our lives where we can see and love ourselves the way Christ sees and loves us. I've always wondered and really couldn't wrap my head around His love for me. I still struggle with grasping the depth of His love for me. There are times I don't feel worthy of His love or that He loves me at all. Yes, me as a believer struggle with God's love for me. Wow, my mind just went blank. Either I'm tired or I really didn't have much to say. Ugh!

Last week, I actually started working out and tracking my food.  This is a daily struggle for me, as I am acknowledging that I AM AN EMOTIONAL EATER. There I said it, I have an unhealthy relationship with food. It has caused me lots of pain over my life. The inconsistency and lack of a mindset of a healthy life, have gotten me to this point. I am just tired of being tired of being tired of being tired. It's an up hill daily battle that I literally can not even think about tomorrow. I know worry about today and do myself in today.

I feel like I have just rambled on about nothing. I am so very tired, maybe I'll just stop here and pick it up tomorrow and re-read what I wrote and start fresh tomorrow. Yeah, I'll do that. Goodnight everybody!